I wish that I could say that I am sorry.

I'm really not. I wouldn't change a thing. You said that I should pick what to do... and I did and I loved it (while on the subject, this is why I am hesitant to pick what to do/where to go. When I do, it ends like this.). I am, however, very very sorry that you didn't approve, or whatever it is that you're dealing with. I'm sorry if I/we went to far for your comfort level, or if i made you feel uncomfortalbe in any respect. I'm sorry if you felt violated or any such. I'm sorry if I made you regret anything.

I, however, approve. I did not violate my personal standars at all. Never once did I feel uncomfortable. I never once felt violated. I do not regret a moment.

I know that you say that you're afriad that things will change. I know that you're afraid that something will happen and our relationship will never be the same. But, well... I'm not going to change. I cannot speak for you and your heart and emotions, but my feelings for you have not changed in the slightest. I loved you when you didn't hold my hand, and I love you now. I loved you back when you hardly looked me in the eye, and I love you now. My love for you is not based on physical contact. My love for you is not conditional like that.

I take that back. My feelings for you have changed. Every day, I love you more than I loved you the day before.

I know you're afraid we're going to cross that magic line and do something we both regret and then cannot put the pieces back together. I cannot imagine what that would be, for one thing. Something that I/we would regret to that extent. Or regret at all, really. As for the magic line... where is it? As I've said before, you never know where your boundries are until you find them. I'm not saying that it's right to push and question everything, but I am saying that it's alright, good even, to find your limits. If you never find them, you never know where to stop. This leads to one of two mistakes.
One, you keep your back against the wall in fear of crossing the line and never experience anything, or two, you throw yourself at the void and end up crossing the line and making a mistake. But, some mistakes are worth making. Some chances are worth taking. Some things are worth trying for. You may screw up, yeah, but at least you learned something from it. At least you experienced it. At least you tried. Maybe it's just me, but I'd rather be the person who jumped and fell than the one who stood back and never even tried.

Please understand, I'm not saying that you have done anything wrong. I'm not saying that you don't try, or any such. I just... don't understand. I only understand where I am and how I feel. I'm sorry if I hurt you in any way. I never want to do that. I'd rather die. I hope you understand that. This post is simply me trying to get my feelings out, becuase otherwise, I'll just go crazy. If you never read this, it would be fine, beause it is not for your benefit. But, above all of this, you absolutely MUST know and remember one thing...







I love you.




I love you so much. I love you to the stars. And that's not changing.