Missing You

Missing you more than the sun
Breaks my heart into a million tears,
A subtle pain that's slowly eating away
At my mind and soul.
I havn't spoken to you in so long
Have you forgotten me?
I will never forget you.
You are forever engraved on my heart.

I Am Yours, Save Me

I'm sitting here tonight
In a place I quite despise
It's so easy for me to hate
Become cold and spiteful
Judging those around me
Self-righteousness creeps into my thoughts
Superiority into my mind
God, please save me
I am yours, save me
Soften my heart and make me humble
Replace my hatred with love and joy
I am yours, save me
I am yours, save me

PMS

Whats my problem? Trapped within my emotions, spinning in a blender. I wan't to cry. So badly. I need to cry. Can't. Gotta be strong. Someone hold me. Don't touch me! Tell me I'm gonna be alright. Stop lying to me! I want to be loved. I'm not loved. I'm so loved. Why am I so unlovable? I don't care! Alright, I care. Pay attention to me! Gosh! Stop trying to analyze me! I'm so lucky to have so many friends. No one likes me. I look sexy hott, like a super model. Lord I'm ugly. I'm doing well in school... makin' A's. STUPID learning disabilities! I'm so dumb and I hate it! HATE! I'm in love. Life is so beautiful. What a depressing crappy day. I want to fly. I want to die. Great at a lot of things. Failure at everything.

He says he loves me. What's in it for him?
She says she's my friend. I bet she talks bad about me.
He says I'm an awesome friend (as he sits on my lap, giving me a hug). He probably just feels sorry for me.
She says I rock. She lies. SHe thinks she's better than me.

Stupid hormones

Recess

A dozen young adults... mature
Escaped from their schoolroom prison
Play in the spring sunshine
Flying on park swings
Running into the wind
Crossing the monkey bars
True joy expressed in their laughter
Boys running through the grass
Girls doing cartwheels and flips
Kids at heart

Running From Reality

Ponient pain breaks my thoughts
Shatters my silent reverie
Piercing my heart, bleeding tears
Dying hope and stone cold love
Haunt the shadows of my mind
Lost and alone, no where to run
Cold eating at my bones
Darkness engulfing my soul
I fly away into forever
Running from reality
Yet dying inside myself

Testing

Stale air floats around the classroom
Backpacks and purses carelessly tossed on desks
Girls chatter on about nothing at all
Fluroescent lights reflect off the dirty white board
A dozen and one juniors congregate around one desk
Babbeling and gossiping about donuts and homework
A silent scribe sits alone in a corner
Unnoticed by the masses around her
Scratching a moment into an old notebook
A marvelous spring day sits on the window sill
Taunting the imprisoned girl
Silence... as heavy papers are placed on the desks
All the same... conformed... standardized
No room for creativity... individuality... for an artist to breath
Spirits crushed by a mere sheet of paper
Draining minds of thought
Conspiracy

Gods Smiles

It's early on Monday morning. Most people are still in bed or beginning to traill off to work and school. The sun has just broken over the cold mountains, kissing the dew still asleep on the grass blades and shattering them into ten million swirling prisms. Liquid diamonds. Fog is still hanging low over the lake like a blanket wrapped around the shoulders of the remains of night. Mist lingers among the blue mountains, invading every secret valley and hidden cove. I can see my breath in the air in front of me, but can't seem to hold it in my hands. The coffee is fresh and hot on my tongue. I love to come to the lake. Especially in the mornings. Ten minutes from home, it's convenient. Seventeen years old, I can come alone. Solitude. A rare yet beautiful thing. But, then again, most beautiful things are rare. Sad. The honking of a lone goose echos up the lake. It's getting late. The sun is almost out of the early clouds. I have to be back by 8:20. I don't want to go back. It's much to wonderful here. Long ripples dance across the lake. Where did they come from? Oh, I see. Two ducks playing in the shallows on the far shore. I can barley see them. The glass surface of the water is disturbed by a couple rowing a boat. How romantic. Sharing the first morning light. A few walkers are beginning to appear. This is a marvelous place to come and walk. A white dog licks my fingers. How cute he is. The man on the other end of the leash smiles and comments on the beautiful morning. Yes, it is just glorious. Well, it is time for me to put my things back into my pack and get on home. School waits for no man... er... girl. I have been here, writing... reading... photographing... existing... for nearly fourty-five minutes now.

Take the time today to see Gods Smiles scattered throughout your life. This sketch is a preservation of one that I found.